I Hate You I Love You
by Omegathyst
Summary: When Amethyst was taken out of the Kindergarten by the Crystal Gems, Rose was neglecting Pearl for a new lover. Because of this Pearl took Amethyst as her new lover, but over time Amethyst realizes that she'll never be to Pearl what Rose is to her. Yet years after Rose's passing, Pearl makes one last attempt to have Amethyst.
1. My Beautiful Rebound

**Many years ago**

"Rose, why did you bring us here? If every other Kindergarten was empty, why should this one be any different?"

"Because if there is a Quartz still on Earth they're probably lost." Rose explained. "We did find some corrupted ones so we know some have been left behind."

Rose was walking through the dark and dreary Kindergarten with Pearl at her side while Garnet was back protecting the temple. Pearl would like a lot of gems to keep her company like before the war, but she only needed Rose Quartz.

Recently Rose had been talking to a farmer named Lewis Fryman that lived near the Temple. Pearl internally scoffed, like Rose was deserving of _that._

However the Kindergarten outings have given Pearl more quality time with her leader and much to Pearl's pleasure, less time with that sloppy farm-loving man.

"Um, did someone say something?"

"Who said that? Are you a gem?" Rose yelled at the voice in the distance. Pearl couldn't believe it, another gem?

Out of the shadows stumbled a small Quartz, and that's what surprised Pearl. That this purple creature wasn't 8 feet tall. Heck, she was shorter than _Pearl._

But Rose didn't look at her with any less love.

"Oh my goodness, another gem! And a cute quartz at that." Rose smiled at the purple quartz. "You must be an Amethyst!"

The runt quartz nodded her head eagerly and Rose picked her up.

"You must come back with us! We're the Crystal Gems!" Rose explained. "I have a spare room in the temple with your name written all over it! How does that sound?"

"Amazing!" Amethyst squeaked.

Pearl rolled her eyes, this new gem didn't even know what a room was yet! And it wasn't even a full grown quartz, which would've been extremely useful to the team.

But Pearl almost never disagreed with Rose. Perhaps this new addition could be useful to the team after all.

* * *

"When are you gonna show me fusion? Rose said we could fuse and I've seen Rainbow Quartz all the time!" Amethyst told Pearl with starry eyes. "I wanna know what we'd be!"

Pearl was looking away from Amethyst with her spear loosely in her hand feeling numb inside. Rose used to spend nights with Lewis _and_ her, but Rose no longer spent nights holding Pearl and trailing kisses down her face and neck. It seemed as if she was devoting all her time to this pathetic mortal.

"Peeeeeearl? You're not even listening are you?" Amethyst complained.

Pearl looked at Amethyst and slightly blushed looking at the purple quartz's puppy-dog eyes. Was it just her, or did Amethyst look cuter than usual?

"I...yes Rose did promise that. And Garnet is out on a mission so I guess we'll practice fusion." Pearl concluded. "Most fusion requires a synchronized dance beforehand. When I offer my hand, take it and we shall attempt to meld into each other. Now, let's begin."

Pearl began stepping back on her tiptoes and twirled, in her view she saw Amethyst whirling around in a crazy and passionate dance.

When Pearl reached her hand out she felt an impulse that she acted upon: she pulled Amethyst towards her and leaned to kiss her. Immediately their forms turned white and melded into one creating Opal.

The first thing Opal felt was surprise and smiled remembering being kissed...and oddly doing the kiss as she felt both sensations before she defused because Amethyst was curious.

"Was that a...kiss?" Amethyst asked. "Rose told that's an invitation to become romantic with you...?"

Pearl nodded trying not to think about Rose. After all, if Rose Quartz was going to see her human lover more, she might as well take the new Crystal Gem as her's.

"Awesome!" Amethyst giggled blushing. "Rose, look! Pearl is my girlfriend!"

Pearl's eyes widened as she looked where Amethyst's finger was pointing to see Rose looking slightly hurt at the two. Even though Pearl was convinced her relationship with Rose was over, she felt like the worst gem alive.

Rose's face brightened suddenly and she hugged Amethyst.

"That is wonderful to hear Amethyst!" Rose gave her million dollar smile. "Pearl, do come to my room in the temple. I'd like to... _go over my mission with you."_

Pearl began shaking with excitement. She knew those six words were codewords that meant Rose desired Pearl to spend the night in _Rose's_ room. Which meant...

 _But Amethyst called me her girlfriend, not lover. If_ _she_ _considered us lovers, it would've been_ _easier_ _to keep seeing Rose._ _And_ _if_ _I cheated on her and broke her heart...it could_ _sting_ _the_ _stability of_ _the_ _Crystal Gems for years._ _I'll_ _just explain the situation to her,_ _she'll_ _understand!_

Pearl gave a brief nod and followed Rose to her room and smiled at the pale pink surroundings she's gotten so used to seeing. She blushed when Rose put her hands on Pearl's shoulders from behind.

"So you're Amethyst's girlfriend?" Rose asked. "You've always had other lovers besides me. Sometimes we shared the same lover. But girlfriend? You should've talked to me about this first."

Pearl felt anger boil within her. _So_ _Rose can get serious with somebody but when I do it I need permission?!_

"Pearl, please don't get angry. We've seen each other for thousands of years and I don't want it to end like this." Rose begged. "Turn around and tell me this is really what you want."

"This _isn't_ what I want!" Pearl snapped, turning around and looking at Rose's confused expression. "I would've been perfectly happy with Amethyst just being my lover. But she had to label our relationship as exclusive!"

"Then talk to her." Rose suggested.

"Why? Just because you want me to?" But Pearl felt secretly satisfied that her new relationship with Amethyst was getting to Rose's nerves.

"Because _you_ want to." Rose answered softly, she cupped Pearl's face. "And admittedly, I want you to as well."

Pearl pulled Rose's face and passionately kissed her. Rose pulled away after two seconds.

"Please talk to Amethyst before you do any of that." Rose explained, hurt that she had to pull away. "She's a very young gem and I don't want to betray her trust and neither should you."

Pearl nodded embarrassingly and hugged Rose before leaving the room. Regardless of what happens, at least she got Rose jealous.


	2. One or the Other

**Three months later**

Pearl walked out of the temple where Amethyst was on the beach eating out of a family-sized bag of Doritos. When she saw Pearl her eyes lit up and she waved her cheese-powdered hand eagerly.

Rose didn't worry that Pearl hadn't talked to Amethyst yet because she had been leaving more to see Lewis and for most of the Crystal Gems, time moved quickly. But being without Rose's embrace made her feel more empty.

She even questioned why she's been with Amethyst this long. She knew that today was the day she'd explain to Amethyst that she can be her lover but without the commitment that she implied in their relationship.

"Hello Amethyst." Pearl smiled.

"Hey P!" Amethyst winked. Oh how Pearl _despised_ that nickname her 'girlfriend' gave her.

Amethyst got up on her feet and magically cleaned her hands before she ran up to Pearl and gave her a big kiss on the lips.

"Wanna fuse into Opal and have some fun in her room~?" Amethyst smirked.

"Um, I have something to explain to you." Pearl said, giving a small smile.

"Sure! What is it?" Amethyst asked, looking up at Pearl eagerly.

"You've been calling me your girlfriend, and that's a human term." Pearl explained. "You see, most gems don't engage in long-term relationships. They take on-and-off lovers and several of them."

"Ok, but we don't have to do that right? Who else would you like anyway?" Amethyst smiled innocently.

"Um, Amethyst? That is why I'm telling you this." Pearl confirmed.

"...but I really like you!" Amethyst gasped, her eyes welling up with tears. _"Who is it?!"_

"Rose Quartz." Pearl admitted. "I still like you Amethyst I-"

"THIS ISN'T FAIR!" Amethyst yelled. "I wanted us to be like Garnet! Never apart! How could you lead me on like this-"

"We can still kiss and have fun Amethyst!" Pearl repeated herself.

"What good is that when I know you're in love with someone else?!" Amethyst growled gripping the sand angrily. "And that you're playing around with her? Stay away from me!"

Amethyst stood up and wildly ran on all fours back to the Temple. Pearl had never felt so relieved in her life, she couldn't wait to come to Rose and to love her again like they did so many times.

 **Half a year later**

Not once did Pearl concern herself with how Amethyst would feel from this.

Amethyst laid in the trash pile in her room and it had been a week. Amethyst went from loving the human activity eating to having stopped almost entirely. And since she didn't need sleep, she was restless.

Her face was very wet with tears recently shed, almost every day she was either dead inside or completely angry. She desperately wanted to fuse to feel complete again, but she wouldn't dare touch Pearl again. Nor Rose.

 _I_ _would_ _ask Garnet, but she already feels complete. She_ _doesn't_ _need a screw-up like me to mess everything up._

Ever since Rose broke off things with Lewis, Amethyst saw Pearl going into Rose's room _everyday._ It made Amethyst sick. She didn't like living anymore, she felt like her life was over anyway.

She decided that she'd try eating her feelings instead of cutting off food and rolled off the trash pile before harshly landing on the floor. Amethyst growled annoyed and left her room to see Garnet at the...kitchen? Amethyst didn't think any of the other Crystal Gems ate food.

"Food is all gone." Garnet said.

"It wasn't when I last ate!" Amethyst protested.

"It all expired." Garnet clarified. "You wouldn't of liked the taste."

"Wait... _you can see into the future!"_ Amethyst squealed, running to Garnet. "Tell me what happens to me! Is there anything left for me?!"

"...yes." Garnet replied. "You will love again, but you _must_ not return to your old ways. You know who I'm talking about."

 _"I hate Pearl!"_ Amethyst growled, clutching her fists. "Like I'd ever go back to her!"

"Believe me Amethyst, it's more likely than you think. Hating her doesn't mean you're over her." Garnet explained. "You've cut yourself off from the Crystal Gems, and soon you need to come back."

"Wait, how _am_ I going to find love again?" Amethyst asked. "Aren't we the only stable gems on this planet?"

"Right now we are." Was all Garnet said on the matter.

"Can we fuse please?" Amethyst held out her hand to Garnet. "Just for a little bit? I hate feeling empty..."

"No. I can only see us being an chaotic fusion." Garnet answered her.

"Of course, I ruin everything I touch." Amethyst sighed dejected. "I'm just gonna go to the trash pile-"

"Stay here, we can watch your shows if you want." Garnet gave a small smile. "I don't want you to go back into hiding Amethyst. I know you don't want to talk to Pearl or Rose right now, but at least talk to me?"

"You're not going to break my heart?" Amethyst said.

"I already love myself, I won't be breaking _anyone's_ heart." Garnet reminded Amethyst. "Now c'mon, I know it's been a while since you've watched TV."

Garnet and Amethyst got on the couch and the former turned on a sitcom that made Amethyst slightly smile. Garnet got up and left the temple and came back with a bag of cream-filled pastries that she put in front of Amethyst.

Amethyst gave a weak smile as she stuffed her mouth with some of the pastries and watched some of the sitcoms. Amethyst dropped the bag when she heard Pearl squeak and Rose giggle.

 _Kill me._

Amethyst could hear them on the warp pad they just appeared from. Garnet put her hands over Amethyst's ear areas and when Pearl and Rose disappeared into Rose's room, Garnet released her hands from Amethyst.

"Thanks, I didn't want to hear how _fun_ their mission was." Amethyst growled. She began aggressively eating her food and Garnet put her hand on Amethyst's shoulder.

"Amethyst, it will take time. But things will get much better. Trust me."


	3. It All Ends Here

**Present day**

Garnet couldn't be more right.

After such a long an agonizing time with losing Rose and such, the Crystal Gems caught a Peridot that was reluctant of being on Earth. But not only did Peridot enjoy Earth now, but she began loving Amethyst and teaching her to love herself.

And the wait was definitely worth it.

Her, and her girlfriend of currently five months Peridot, Lapis, Steven, and Connie were at the barn on the truck watching Camp Pining Hearts while exchanging commentary.

"I heard there's going to be a season six." Connie announced.

"They should've stopped at Season 3." Lapis scoffed.

As the credits started rolling Amethyst lifted Peridot onto her lap and whispered into her ear.

"Hey Peri...I want you to move in with me in my room in the Temple." Amethyst confessed. Peridot's eyes widened.

"I...I'd love too! But what about Lapis? And your ex Pearl?" Peridot asked.

"Lapis can move in or stay in the barn. And Pearl's over me! It's totally cool!" Amethyst brought Peridot's face closer to her's and winked. "I just wanna be with you Peri."

"Oh get a room you two." Lapis gave a small smile of amusement. Amethyst laughed and kissed Peridot right on the lips when Connie tapped Amethyst's frantically.

"What is it...oh." Amethyst gently placed Peridot off her lap to see Pearl below the truck balcony they were on with a faint blue blush on her face.

"A...Amethyst?" Pearl stuttered nervously. "Could you come down here so I could tell you something?"

"Um sure P." Amethyst replied casually as she jumped off the balcony and landed in front of Pearl. "What's up?"

"I...want us to get back together." Pearl whispered. "I've been so lonely these past years and no woman I've been with is like Ro...I mean _you._ And guess what? I can be your girlfriend like you always wanted!"

"I'm with Peridot." Amethyst pointed out.

"Wait are you trying to steal my girlfriend?!" Peridot hissed looking down at them. "Get away from her you _clod!"_

Peridot levitated a bunch of empty cans near Pearl and Amethyst and sent them flying into Pearl. Pearl winced in pain and angrily pulled out her spear.

"Amethyst! See how crazy she is?! You're meant to be with _me!"_ Pearl snapped.

"The only crazy gem I see is you Pearl. Our relationship is in the past. You only want Rose and she's no longer here." Amethyst said.

"Then if I can't have you...neither can she!" Pearl leaped at Peridot and stabbed her right in the gut with her spear, poofing Peridot. Peridot's gem landed in Pearl's hand.

 _"PERIDOT!"_ Steven and Connie shouted in shock.

"Now to WAH!" Pearl gasped as Lapis picked her up and flew them high into the sky. "Let me go!"

"Okay." Lapis yanked Peridot's gem out of Pearl's hand and let go of Pearl. Pearl began falling towards the ground.

Amethyst look at Pearl sadly as she took out her whip and caught Pearl with it midair and the whip wrapped around Pearl so tightly her physical form disappeared poofing her as well.

Amethyst bubbled Pearl's gem as Lapis flew to her side holding Peridot's gem. Steven and Connie got off the balcony and joined them.

Amethyst sent the bubbled gem back to the Temple sadly and Lapis put her hand on Amethyst's shoulder.

"I'm sorry Amethyst." Lapis sighed.

When Amethyst and Steven returned to the Temple, Garnet told them it was ideal for Pearl to remain in her bubble for a few months to think about what she did.

 **Three months later**

Peridot had moved into Amethyst's room only a month ago with Lapis actually enjoying having the barn to herself with the Crystal Gems visiting her frequently.

Although Peridot used to be a neat freak, after being in Amethyst's trashed up room long enough, Peridot began to pick up on her girlfriend's habits and became sloppy as well.

Amethyst and Peridot were laying on one of the bigger trash piles with several pizza boxes full of pizza that Amethyst stole and a basket of garlic knots.

"Amethyst? Do you think I should get a job? Someday the police are going to track us back to here and find out we've been the ones constantly stealing food from Little Appeaser's." Peridot asked. "Maybe we should start paying for our food."

"Well if you stay here I can just shapeshift into a kangaroo and shove everything into my pouch and sprint all da way here." Amethyst chuckled, putting her arm around Peridot.

Peridot laughed at the thought of Amethyst sprinting from the cops in kangaroo form. But her laugh cut short as she and Amethyst saw Pearl standing in front of them.

"Stay away from us!" Peridot growled, pointing a piece of sharp metal towards Pearl.

"W-wait!" Pearl gasped, waving her hands. "I'm not here to fight! I'm here to apologize."

"It's okay Peridot." Amethyst reassured her girlfriend putting one hand on her shoulder. Peridot reluctantly dropped the metal and sat back on the trash pile. "Go ahead Pearl."

"To be honest I've been wanting Rose back badly and I wanted you to take the pain away again." Pearl confessed. "And at the time your relationship with Peridot didn't matter. I was being selfish and I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?"

"I will." Amethyst decided.

"Peridot, I'm sorry for stabbing you and trying to ruin your relationship." Pearl added.

"Er...okay." Peridot muttered.

Pearl nodded her head and went back to her own room. Peridot looked suspicious and turned to Amethyst.

"I don't trust her to leave us alone forever Amethyst." Peridot admitted.

"It's okay, I'll just layer the entire floor with bear traps." Amethyst reassured her. "We'll just have to jump from trash pile to trash pile my pretty nerd~"

The two laughed and leaned in for a passionate kiss. Amethyst remembered Garnet telling her she would love again, and felt fireworks ignite within her.

"Thank you Peridot." Amethyst whispered after they stopped kissing. "I will love you till the end of time."


End file.
